Finding Me in Retirement

There’s been a lot said about young people “finding themselves.” Sometimes I think that may be an excuse for experimenting with different lifestyles, situations, or maybe careers. Well, after retiring from nursing, I could identify.

            From my earliest memories, I knew I was going to be a nurse. In my imaginary life as a child, I alternated between cowboying, (sheriff by myself, rustler with boy cousin), metamorphosing into a horse or deer, being a housewife with eight kids, school teacher, minister, and waitress, as well as a nurse. But I always knew my true “grown-up” professions would be wife, mother and nurse. However, a writer was in the mix too. Plus a high school friend and I spent weekends together drawing pictures.

            Twelve years ago I retired the first time from nursing. I went back to work, part-time, a year later, and worked six more years, even putting together and teaching a certified nurse assistant program. I loved it.

            I tried to find myself during my year off by practicing and selling more art, increasing my writing skills, joining the prayer committee at church, taking more college courses, and volunteering for more causes. I didn’t feel fulfilled.

            After I went back to work, I was happy. I love being a nurse. I loved the socialization with co-workers, and patients, treating illness, teaching wellness, being immersed in health care. (Nurse R Me.)

            A month after retiring the second time, my sister became gravely ill and passed away. So there was a whirlwind of legal issues, and dealing with grief and loss, which included the loss of my career sinking in. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore.

            I find I am still a nurse. Just tonight I got a call from someone wanting advice on a medication since the doctor never called them back today to say what to do readjusting the dose based on a blood test. Another time a friend called to say the doctor’s office told her to go to the pharmacy to pick up insulin and start insulin shots without giving her any teaching or instruction on how to do so! She’d never given herself a shot and wanted me to be there when she did. I’ve helped a friend with an incision that opened on a weekend, and other occasions of someone needing advice or help. I will always be a nurse.

I have written and published five books, write a monthly article for our church newsletter, freelance for a state-wide magazine, and belong to an art organization through which I have sold several paintings. I am working on two more books.

I have also retired from three nonprofit boards, where I served for two years or more. I help co-manage a critique group for writers, am on a leadership team for another, and always wonder where my time goes! My husband loves going to breakfast, so we get up by 6 AM most mornings and join a group of 3-6 other people at our favorite coffee shop for breakfast!

I really don’t have time to find myself. But then, I don’t feel lost!